(But it’s good to have some questions)

Wow, you’re in your last year of high school.  How did that happen?  It’s like I blinked and you are all grown-up.  It feels like only yesterday I was standing outside your kindy room, ready to head off on an Aunty-Miss Lily adventure for the afternoon.  I can so clearly still see my arm outstretched ready to take your bag from you that you’d collected from the cubby-hole locker along with your latest masterpiece in water-based paints.  But more than a decade has gone by since then – time really does fly my lovely one.

So this year is a year I know you have been looking forward to for a while now.  I also know it is a year that contains a few ‘uh-oh’ items to contend with in the world of Miss Lily.  Okay, so one of those is the fact that your boyfriend leaves for university ahead of you, let’s just get that one out-of-the-way, because I do sympathise with you on this (you will be okay, by the way, I promise).  I’m really referring to the fact that while you go through your final year of high school (Year 13, a senior-senior and mufti at last! And all the other good stuff you’ll do alongside your many lovely friends), the prospect of 2018 looms large.

The question ‘what next?’ seems to be a weekly if not daily routine with everyone you come into contact with.  It’s nice that people are interested and care about what comes next for you, but it is also a pretty hard question for you to answer at the moment with any real clarity and sureness, and I totally get it!

I entered my final year of high school at 16, and it was term two before I was 17.  I look back and it seems crazy to me now that at that tender age I had to get a whole lot figured out for my future and fast.  I, like you, didn’t have a lot to go on at that stage, so I started with what I did know:

• I wanted to go to university;
• I wanted to study things that interested me;
• I wanted the university I chose to be in a city I could see myself being happy in.

There was only one other thing I knew for sure at that point, although I wasn’t very open about this:

• I wanted to tell stories.

[Sadly, I didn’t see this as enough of a real ‘thing’, so it wasn’t something I lived out-loud, and that’s a whole other lesson to come.]

So those four things were it.  That’s all I knew at the start of my final year of high school.

I certainly wasn’t alone in this pursuit of what next, I was part of a community of ‘what-next-ers’, all trying to figure out a solid plan for the following year.  I quickly learned there was a spectrum we all fell somewhere on, from the ‘no clue’ end to the ‘all sorted’ end, and everywhere in between.   I fell smack-bang in the middle.

 

Some people had it sussed – they had a specific study/training/experience/career in mind and had mapped the journey to getting there, or at least getting closer to it (I was a bit jealous of this lot).  Others had absolutely no clue what they were going to do (I sympathised, but was very thankful I wasn’t in their midst).  I figured out that what separated me from the ‘no clues’ was that I had some answers (phew!).  What separated me from the ‘all sorted’ group was that I still had some questions.  So to get closer to the goal of being all sorted for the following year, I realised that I needed to follow my questions.

So I went through my wish-list for a university and narrowed the list to options that suited me.  I then tackled the questions related to what I wanted to learn, become better at, and get experience in.  For me I narrowed the list to the most important things and picked courses of study to suit:

1. I wanted to understand more about what makes a great story great.  And this led me to the study of English Literature.
2. I wanted to learn the foundations of communicating – the theory and practice.  I wanted to learn how to make messages/ideas/stories resonate with an intended audience, and how to make them ‘sticky’.  This equalled, I decided, Communication.
3. And lastly, I wanted to learn about mediums beyond writing that could be used to communicate and tell stories.  So I landed on Film & Television (nowadays dubbed Media).

I took my narrowed list of universities and I cross referenced the above subjects.  I landed on one that I could do all courses of study under one Bachelor degree – happy days!  At the end of term three I booked in for a campus tour of this university that was being offered by my high school, and I absolutely fell in love with it.  I could not wait to get there.  In term four I submitted my application to the university and first-year hostel, and the rest was, as they say, history.

Now, I share my very specific story with you because I know it might just be helpful to your specific situation right now.  Through our many chats on the subject I know three things to be true for you:

• You want to go on to university or further study of some kind;
• You already know what city you would like to do this in;
• You are yet to nail down what it is you are going to do.

So, I’m hoping that my story might give you some insight/inspiration/ideas on how to move further down the spectrum of ‘what next’.  To help you firm up the answers you have already, and tease out the questions that are important to you so you can get closer to the ‘all sorted’ end of things for 2018.

As you know, through my career I have been lucky enough to work alongside young(er) people.  (I still like to think I’m young – don’t laugh)  Through this, I have had the privilege of many encounters with young people seeking my advice or support with their own ‘what next’.   I have learned that there is definitely not a one-size-fits-all prescription for ‘what next’.  So I’ve always tried my best to help and support by challenging these young people to find out if they have any answers already – do they have things they know for sure?   And, you’ve probably guessed it by now (smart cookie), I’ve then challenged them to figure out what their questions might be, and then define and refine them.

What is it that they are super interested in?  What drives them?  What do they feel they are really good at?  What do they enjoy doing? What do they enjoy doing the most?  What are their (sometimes secret – like mine) dreams and wishes?  What is the contribution they would most like to make?  What do they wish they could learn more about?  What do they want to experience?   What are the things most important to them?

The tricky thing about ‘what next’ is that you are potentially going to encounter it again and again as you approach the end of many chapters in your life – whether it’s finishing high school or university studies; feeling like you’ve learned everything you want/need to in a certain job; the start or demise of a relationship; starting or growing a family; wanting to change cities; wanting to get out and travel; finding a new passion or interest; just hitting a certain age, or simply feeling like you need a change without really knowing why – ‘what next’ can crop up in life in so many different forms and for so many different reasons – some we choose, and some we don’t.

So, my darling girl, take the pressure off this one ‘what next’ and realise that it’s just about figuring out your very next chapter.  There’ll be plenty of time to be ‘all sorted’ for the chapter after that, especially if you stay mindful and take note of the answers as they come to you, and follow the questions you find ahead.  If you want any help or someone to listen to you and bounce around ideas with, you know where I am.

You have so much wonderfulness ahead of you, Miss Lily, and I know you’ll quickly be on your way to an exciting new chapter full of so much promise.  You only need to figure out just a few more things and find your way in following your questions.  You can do it!

Love always,

Aunty xo

 

Special note:     Just so we’re clear, I want to clarify that I don’t think attending university is a requisite move for everyone facing the ‘what next’ dilemma for themselves post-high school, not at all.  It was, for me, a chance to keep on learning, growing and developing in a structured environment (one that appealed to me), which gave me more time to figure out my next ‘what next’, before I was let loose on the big, wide world beyond.  Luckily I found my years at university to be such a great and rewarding chapter in my life (so much growth, so much learning, so much fun!), but I also know that other paths would have potentially been just as good opportunities for me to do the above, too. I know plenty of people who didn’t choose the university path in their ‘what next’ after high school, who found great reward and success.  It comes down to what is right for you and making the best choice you can with the information you have at the time.  And trying your best to follow your questions!